Prayer: Let Me Be Leaven

A new addition has been made available on our Prayer page, entitled “Let Me Be Leaven,” based on the very brief parable in Matthew 13:33 –

“The kingdom of heaven is like leaven which a woman took and hid in three measures of flour,

till it was all leavened.”

There are many, many times when we find ourselves in situations where we ask whether or not we should stay, or whether we would be missed if we leave.  Oftentimes this has something to do with our neurodivergence – our being misunderstood, or not noticed, or not able to participate because our needs exceed the accommodations available.  It is an awful feeling, to say the least.  There are times when it is obvious that it is appropriate (maybe even necessary) to leave.  Other times are more ambiguous.  We may want to stay for many valid reasons, but question whether it’s worth the cost.  We may feel a sense of loyalty and belonging, even if that is not always reciprocated.  It may be important to follow through on principle.  Or, we may very simply want to be there because we are there – which is valid reason enough!

For those times, the parable of the leaven in the Kingdom of God seems an apt comparison.  Aside from any physical parallels between how we feel and what dough endures (need we mention kneading, punching or pulling?), the idea of leaven makes an interesting meditation.  Our Lord spoke of leaven to describe how something small and humble grows into something grand and nourishing to great numbers, referring to how the Kingdom of God grows with each simple “yes.”  And yet, the process of leavening is also worth pondering, if we consider how yeast works alongside and within the popular and easily recognizable pantry staples.  Indeed, the sometimes silent, sometimes turbulent action of yeast is absolutely essential to the growth, expansion and full expression of the finished product.

Here is the text of the prayer.

 

Lord, let me be leaven.

When I am unseen, unheard, unknown in my community: Let me be leaven.

Let the full spectrum of me be present, if undetected, exactly as I am: stimming or still, restless or recollected, vocal or silent, vibrant or subdued, needy or fulfilled.

Hide me deep within surrounding measures of activities and committees and busyness and social gatherings.  May my presence permeate and thrive within the community, even when it is not perceptible.

Take into Your Loving Hands my yearning to belong, my desire to serve, the gifts I would share if given the opportunity – and rest them safely beneath the warmth of Your gaze, to rise and expand and thrive in the time You appoint.

Lord, hide me in the places You need me to be, and let me be leaven, wherever You lead me.

 

Amen.

 

 

 

Novena in Honor of St. Thorlac

by Aimée O’Connell

 

The summer Feast Day of Saint Thorlak is observed each year on July 20, which commemorates the translation of Bishop Thorlak’s relics which took place in the summer of 1198.  Such a date would be necessary for any exhumation in the twelfth century, but also reflects a season when pilgrims from all parts of Iceland would be able to make the journey to Skálholt to attend the ceremony and have the opportunity to personally venerate the relics of Iceland’s newly-declared patron saint.  More details about the summer feast day can be found in this blog post of the Icelandic National League of the United States (INLUS).

The Novena in Honor of Saint Thorlac (which uses the Latinized spelling of Thorlak’s name) was approved by the Bishop of Iceland, Most Rev. David B. Tencer, in 2018, and is a nine-day prayer and reflection on St. Thorlak’s life and example.  The English text of this prayer is available for free viewing and download on the Autism Consecrated website, and is now also available in spoken English audio on each day’s page for those who prefer to listen to the words or move about as you pray.  Furthermore, the spoken prayers of the novena have been uploaded to our YouTube Channel with ambient background music and photo slideshows of Iceland for each day’s devotion.

May we join our prayers to St. Thorlak’s, for the physical and spiritual wellbeing of Iceland, and may St. Thorlak pray for each of us in our own particular needs!

A Prayer for the Autistic Souls

Tap here for AUDIO in English on our YouTube channel

All Souls Day, 2020

 

Heavenly Father,

 

We commend to Your loving care

all the autistic souls who have gone before us:

 

Those whom we knew well;

Those we knew only from a distance;

 

Those with whom we worked, as helpers and as colleagues;

Those who were our neighbors;

Those who were our classmates;

Those who stand out in our memories

as quirky, different, eccentric and odd;

Those who were accepted and welcomed;

Those who were marginalized,

bullied,

mocked,

and turned away;

 

Those who communicated easily with others;

Those who communicated without words;

Those whom others found difficult to reach;

Those who were overwhelmed by the sensory demands of their environment;

 

Those within our own families

who succeeded;

who struggled;

who knew that they were autistic;

who wondered why they were different;

who were accepted with love and patience;

who were difficult to connect with;

 

Those who died alone

in group homes;

in mental institutions;

in hospitals;

in nursing homes;

in isolation from others;

in homelessness;

 

Those who died without the benefit of being understood for

who they were;

why they were different;

what their actual diagnosis was;

what their actual capacity for love was;

what their interests were;

what their intellectual capacity was;

what gave them joy;

what brought them sadness;

all that made them who they are;

 

For all autistic souls who have gone before us:

 

May they rest in Eternal love, acceptance and peace,

and may their memory inspire us

to love more, understand better,

and cultivate patience

with ourselves, and with one another.

 

In the Holy Name of Jesus, we pray,

Amen.

 

 

 

The Pastoral Needs of Autism: Healing Prayer

by Aimée O’Connell

 

To those expecting this post to contain words meant to step in and undo anyone’s autism diagnosis, we apologize: our subtitle this week begins with a gerund, not an adjective.  We aim to suggest ways our manner of prayer might itself be healed.

Why?  Ask any autistic.  There are few things more alienating than hearing from members of our faith community that we are broken or unacceptable as we are.  Yet many prayers for autism purport to fix what the community finds wrong in us… to cure us of the things that seem frightfully different… to imagine what we want for ourselves, without asking us if that is correct.

This is not to say that intercessory prayer is wrong.  On the contrary!  Praying for one another is a beautiful and life-giving aspect of community and belonging.  Likewise, it is unlikely to ever be without need of prayer, in one way or another.  Prayer, in its purest form, is both conveyance of gratitude for and acknowledgement of our interdependence as a faith community.  But more often than not, autistic people (and many others with disabling conditions) hear how little our community knows us in the prayers offered on our behalf.  Not only is it disheartening to be so overtly misunderstood, but it is starkly marginalizing.

In fairness: Yes, there is a time and a place to pray for reversal of illness, for recovery of wellness and for remission from the kind of suffering that impairs our quality of life.  Yes, it merciful to pray for those experiencing pain or distress.  Sometimes, the anxiety and sensory overload secondary to autistic wiring falls under that category, to be sure.  But then, our prayer ought to focus on our merciful wish to relieve distress, and not to condemn the person for being distressed in the first place.  To wit: “Heavenly Father, come to the assistance of this person in their hour of need” upholds the person’s dignity within the community, as does, “… heal this person of that which causes them pain.”  Contrast that with, “… remake this person in Your image to be whole once more” and “… heal this person of the autism which imprisons them,” and you have a declaration of unfitness in the community, condemning a neurological type which, by itself, is neither physical disease nor mental disorder.

The following questions are meant to help illuminate the spirit in which we might offer prayer, regardless of who we are or what our particular conditions might be.

 

  • Does our prayer focus on alleviating any discomfort or dissatisfaction WE FEEL, or is it focused on needs expressed by the person we are praying for?
  • Does our prayer PRESUME TO KNOW what the person wants us to pray for, or is our prayer based on actual, known, expressed needs of this person?
  • Does our prayer echo GENERALIZATIONS we have heard about a particular condition, or does it reflect how we know this person as a unique individual?
  • Is our prayer rooted in any FEAR or DREAD of the situation? Is this fear or dread ours, or the person’s?
  • Does our prayer surrender to asking God what is best for the person, or does it seek to define what WE think would be best?
  • Would the words of our prayer be viewed as uplifting in love and dignity, or listing our grievances and pity, when heard by the person we pray for?
  • Does our prayer portray the person as a Beloved Child of God, “fearfully and wonderfully made”? Or, does it presume fault or defect?
  • Does our prayer reflect our gratitude for the gifts this person brings to the community, or to the burdens we feel from this person’s struggles and needs?

 

May these thoughts guide us on our journeys toward healing the way we pray… for ourselves, for others, and for our community.

The Prayer of Consecration via Saint Thorlak

by Father Mark P. Nolette – Autistic Priest/Hermit

Many autistic people, as well as their families, friends, and other fellow Catholics, have found in Saint Thorlak a powerful and compassionate intercessor before the Lord.  Saint Thorlak, in his life, showed a number of personality traits that resemble autism.  Whether or not he was actually autistic – and many believe he was – these traits make him a very appropriate Saint to turn to for intercession and help before the Lord.

This prayer is intended primarily for autistic people who wish to consecrate their autism to God in the way of Saint Thorlak.  It may also be prayed by family members of people who are profoundly autistic and cannot say the words on their own.

Why would someone want to consecrate their own autism – or the autism of a loved one – to God, via Saint Thorlak? What is the point?

No matter where one is on the autism spectrum, to be autistic is to possess a combination of strengths and limitations that is unusual.  To be autistic is to feel isolated, misunderstood, even by some who truly love the autistic person.  To be autistic is to face the challenges of extreme sensitivities to various things, overwhelming surges of anxieties, and the abysses of depression.  On the other hand, to be autistic is to be able to love a certain interest with great focus and devotion.  It is to be one who seeks truth and integrity above all. It is to be someone who notices things that others do not. It is to be someone who is capable of great loyalty.  It is to be someone who is also capable of great compassion, even if that might not be expressed in the ways neurotypical people express it.

An autistic person who is baptized is no less a Catholic, no less a Christian, than anyone else. However, autistic people often feel misunderstood, incapable, unworthy and unwelcome even among fellow Catholics, for the reasons stated above and others.

This is where Saint Thorlak comes in. There are already many stories of autistic people who were led to their true calling in the Church by Saint Thorlak, even before they knew he existed. Others, in seeking his intercession, found their anxieties lessen so that they could take an important step in their lives.  Still others found renewed hope and a sense that they also belonged to the family of God.

By consecrating one’s own autism – or the autism of a loved one – to God in the way of Saint Thorlak, we open our hearts, minds and bodies to his blessing, intercession and guidance. We entrust ourselves to Saint Thorlak’s friendship, knowing that he will help us discover the power of God’s love in our weakness, uncover the gifts God has given us, and help us see how to put them to the service of others.  Saint Thorlak understands the unique challenges and blessings of autism.  His presence and intercession will be a great gift, and a means of God’s love, for all those who consecrate their autism with him.

Make this consecration only when you are ready.  If you are unsure about consecrating your own autism via Saint Thorlak, pray and ask for guidance.  You will know when the time has come.  If you are a family member and are concerned about making this consecration in someone else’s name, there is no need to worry.  Remember the people who brought the paralyzed man to Jesus.  The Gospels tell us that Jesus, when He saw their faith, healed the man.  Saint Thorlak can bless your autistic family member though you making this consecration in that person’s name.  He will also bless you and your whole family.

Here, then, is a Prayer of Consecration of Autism via Saint Thorlak.

 

Holy Thorlak,

I come before you as a Christian and an autistic person.

As a Christian, I seek to love the Lord with all my heart, with all my mind, with all my soul, with all my body, and with all my strength.  I seek to love my neighbor as myself.  I seek to see Christ in the least of my sisters and brothers, as He has taught me.  I seek to be close to Him always; close in prayer, close in the Sacraments, close as I read the Scriptures, close as I love others, close as I welcome the love of others for me. 

As an autistic person, I know that Christ is the Truth, the ultimate Source of all truth that I seek.  I know that God is Love.  When I love anything intensely, I am beginning to know it as God does.  I want to love as God does.  I can feel that love, but I don’t always know how to show it.  I don’t always know how to speak or act when I’m with other people.  I have to confront great anxieties and fears at times.  Certain sounds, smells, colors, or other things really hurt me and make it very hard for me to be with other people.  I don’t know all the social codes and misunderstand what others say, and they misunderstand what I say.  I often have a hard time knowing what I feel, let alone expressing my emotions. Some people see me as someone they would rather not be with, or someone who has nothing to offer.  I desperately want to do the right thing, but I often don’t know what the right thing is. 

Holy Thorlak, I need your help.  In your life, you had to struggle to speak and be understood.  You felt isolated and misunderstood. You felt anxieties and depression.  And yet, in your love of God you found strength in your weakness and became a compassionate shepherd to those whom God entrusted to your care. 

Holy Thorlak, I now entrust myself to your care.  I wish to consecrate my autism to God by following the way you exemplify.  I offer my weaknesses – my anxieties and fears, my depression and awkwardness, my sensitivities and my isolation.  I offer my gifts – my great love for my interests, my desire for truth and integrity, my passion for justice, and every other gift I have received from God.  I consecrate all of this, all that my autism has given me, to God.

Holy Thorlak, pray for me, that my autism may be a means of God’s love, wisdom and strength. Guide me and show me how I can best serve God and others through my autism. Show me how what I thought of as weakness, or what some people called weakness, is really a way for God to bless me and to bless many through me.

Holy Thorlak, I ask all of this of you that I might become a true follower of the Lord just as you were in your life.  Please pray for me to the Lord that He might bless me and bless others through me.  Let me be that mustard seed, that measure of yeast, that seemingly small and insignificant thing that becomes a great blessing by God’s love.  Let it all happen for your own mission, Holy Thorlak, and for God’s glory.  May Our Blessed Mother, Mary, and all the angels and saints join you in prayer for me as I consecrate my autism.

May it all be according to God’s Word, now and forever.

Amen.

 

ACAT 1: Basic Catholic Prayers

The Baltimore Catechism begins not with instruction but with the most frequently heard prayers in the Catholic faith.  Why start here?  What motivated the Catholic scholars to start with prayers before we even get into the premise of our faith?  Wouldn’t it make more sense to start by explaining God and what we know about Him before we dive straight into how to invoke Him and converse with Him?

When the Baltimore Catechism was first published in 1891, then again in 1921, the concept of a user’s manual did not exist yet in the common American vernacular.  Nowadays, manuals are passé.   Most consumer products are designed to be user-friendly, plug-and-play, unbox and go.  What we see more and more is a “Quick Start Guide” or reference card as an alternative to a more lengthy instruction book.

The choice to begin with prayer instead of doctrine is very much like a Quick Start Guide to the Catholic Faith.  One could see simply the words to be memorized in order to fit in and participate right off the bat, or one could see what these words represent and glean the fundamental summary of our faith right here.  In a sense, this echoes the experience of social skills instruction: we are taught basic stock phrases to use in certain situations and can skate by nicely if we learn to use each at the proper time, or we can more deeply consider what each means and why each evokes the response it does from those around us.

And so, the Baltimore Catechism introduces the prayers most frequently heard in the Catholic faith which also act to summarize the scope of our beliefs.  We have the Our Father, Hail Mary, Apostles’ Creed, Confiteor, and the Acts of Faith, Hope and Love as our Quick Start Guide.  No time to unpack the finer elements comprising our faith?  Then, become familiar with these prayers and recite them with sincerity to experience what being Catholic is all about.

It is greatly tempting to take any of these prayers and expound on their meaning; likewise, to write at great lengths about prayer itself, since that alone is a concept which confounds and has confounded people of all neurotypes from the beginning of time.  Some people find prayer natural, and others find it impossible.  Some pray primarily with words; others with actions; others with song; others by experience.  It is said there is no wrong way to pray.  Within the Mission of Saint Thorlak, we simplify prayer to mean: deliberate relationship with God.  For those of us on the spectrum, this makes a bold clarification, as everything with us seems to come down to “relationship” and “relationship deficit.”

“How do I know I am praying?”  If we are engaging, or sincerely intending to engage, our thoughts and emotions with God, we are praying.

“How do I know I am praying well?” If our attention is on God, or wanting to know God, or wanting to share ourselves with God, we are praying well.

“How do I know I am praying right?”  If we are showing honesty, sincerity, commitment of our attention and desire to increase the trust we feel that God is real, we are praying right.

In contrast, the following factors have nothing whatsoever to do with gauging the quality of our prayer:

  • How we feel before, during or after
  • How we compare to others
  • How loudly we pray
  • How long we pray

Here is where many autistics run into difficulty: Prayer is meant to be a mutual conversation between ourselves and God.  Sounds easy… if conversation is something that comes easy.  The advantage of having “prayers” (plural noun) is that they can assist our “prayer” (intentional action) in the same way reading scripted dialogue can help familiarize us with conversational skills, gradually leading us to where we can become more comfortable and more spontaneous.  Furthermore, scripted prayers make excellent study guides so that we can know more about God before we jump into spontaneous conversation.

The downside is that the literal words might become distracting.  For example:

Our Father – calls to mind our actual father and all the attributes we associate with him.  It can be hard to think of God in any other terms than the image we associate with “father.”

Who Art in Heaven – means we can’t see him, and can feel like God lives in an invisible castle somewhere.

Hallowed Be Thy Name – what does that mean?  (That the name of God itself stirs respect).

Thy Kingdom Come – is confusing to anyone not familiar with monarchy.  Again, it calls to mind imaginary castles from storybooks.

In their fuller context, these words mean:

God, who loves us as His own children, who exists in a realm beyond what we can see: may you be loved every time we say your name!  May your ways of love and mercy be known right here, right now!

If that is still not clear, one of the shortest, valid prayers we can say is: JESUS.

How is this so?

  • It calls Jesus to mind, which begins building a relationship.
  • It literally means “He will save us.” Saying his name, therefore, is a declaration of faith.
  • It brings Him present to us, the same way calling anyone else’s name gets their attention.

Still finding it confusing?  Don’t despair.  The fuller manual is still ahead. Not everyone can jump in with just the Quick Start Guide, especially if it’s something completely unfamiliar. By the time we’re done, it might make more sense.  Faith in God is something that will always leave people with more questions than answers, and that is, in many ways, reassuring.  After all, a quest we never fully complete can never become stale or stagnant.