by Allie Mason

Sometimes, to share that we are autistic with our church family can feel daunting, especially if we have experienced any negativity in the responses of others that we have told before. However, it is important to remember that God does not make mistakes, and the Church is a place that He intends to be welcoming. Just look to John 9:2-4. Jesus is asked if a man is blind because of his own sin, or the sin of his parents. “Neither”, is Jesus’ reply, “this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him” (NIV). Do not take this simply to mean that the man was born blind so that, at the appropriate time, Jesus could heal him. Rather, consider how God works through our lives as disabled Christians, how our lives themselves display the works of God. If possible, try to consider disability as a vehicle of light, where God is communicating through us and with us to the world.

With this in mind, once we have shared that we are autistic with our church family, we can begin to build pastoral relationships based on a mutual understanding of the possible impacts that our disability might have. The indicative features of autism across the spectrum are impaired social skills, difficulties in communicating and repetitive behaviours. I will briefly touch upon these below, in relation to both ourselves as autistic Christians and the minister with whom we wish to speak. This could be in the context of biblical counselling, marriage preparation, faith formation or beyond.

Recommendations for the autistic Christian:

• If stimming (self-stimulatory behaviour) is calming, or helps with focus, make sure to take along a favourite stim object. I personally have a collection of small stones and always feel soothed by having one held in the palm of my hand during a conversation.
• If it would help, invite somebody else along who already understands the support needs associated with autism, especially to a first meeting. This could be a partner, a family member or a close friend. I would discuss this beforehand with the minister but have no fear in asking for this accommodation just because it isn’t the usual way things are done.
• Finally, it is important for us to be our own advocate in such situations. We know what is right for us better than anyone else. For example, prayer for healing is often a delicate topic within the disabled Christian community. If, as I do, you feel that being autistic is not a deficit, but rather the way that we were made by God Himself, then don’t be afraid to say ‘no, thank you’ if someone offers prayer for healing, and explain why. By the same token, if such prayer would be welcome, feel comfortable in asking for that too.

Recommendations for the minister:

• Be receptive when asked to make accommodations to support the needs of an autistic member of your congregation. As it says in James 1:19, “everyone should be quick to listen [and] slow to speak” (NIV). Should no accommodations initially be requested, check at the beginning of the meeting that they feel comfortable with the situation and environment, as it may be that they were not confident in being the first to address this.
• Keep in mind that what feels normal or insignificant for you can often feel chaotic for somebody who is autistic. For example, if a lawnmower starts outside the window, appreciate that this will likely be distracting or possibly even overwhelming, as our brains struggle to differentiate between foreground and background noise.
• As mentioned above, an offer to pray for healing may be made with the best of intentions, but it is not always welcome and can also be perceived hurtfully. I would recommend always waiting for your autistic congregant to invite such prayer themselves or offering to pray more generally for whatever might be on their heart at that time.
• If you are unfamiliar with autism and how it manifests in different support needs for different people, please feel that you can be honest about this. It is always preferable that you would ask questions and learn from our experiences than remain silent.
• Be aware that many autistic brains understand language literally, so supplement any reference to metaphor by taking care to explain both your own ideas and Scripture in a straightforward manner. Encourage your congregant to ask questions, allowing them to seek clarification if they are confused or to express further interest in something that they have found compelling.

Allie Mason is a postgraduate student and freelance research consultant from the UK, currently studying for an MSc in Education at the University of Oxford and working with a start-up neurodiversity consultancy. She first became a Christian in her teenage years and, since a recent diagnosis of autism, has begun to pursue a keen interest in the relationship between disability and faith.