"Living meekly, lovingly, and faithfully, even as a perpetual outsider in a society built around approval by the majority..."
This was the Way of Saint Thorlak. He lived his sixty years as a paradox. Growing up academically gifted in a largely illiterate society dependent on manual labor, Thorlak was pressured to use his intellect to dominate politically and gain social power in the one institution which seemed to guarantee both: the Catholic Church. To the puzzlement of his benefactors, he put little stock in social status. Instead of building political connections with the grand banquets and large gatherings offered him, he preferred the individual company of the common folk - including the indigent and disabled - where he said more meaningful connections took place. He found refreshment in their offering sincere friendship without hiding their deficits or falsely inflating their social status. In kind, Thorlak did nothing to mask his own shy demeanor, physical frailty or speech impairment. He modeled that consecrating our weakness does not give us strength or popularity... it allows Christ's power to be revealed in our lives, and manifested as His Loving Presence in the community.
In striving to follow the Way of St. Thorlak, may we also witness Christ's power perfected in us, and discover the gift of autism, consecrated.
As a Christian, I seek to love the Lord with all my heart, with all my mind, with all my soul, with all my body, and with all my strength. I seek to love my neighbor as myself. I seek to see Christ in the least of my sisters and brothers, as He has taught me. I seek to be close to Him always; close in prayer, close in the Sacraments, close as I read the Scriptures, close as I love others, close as I welcome the love of others for me.
As an autistic person, I know that Christ is the Truth, the ultimate Source of all truth that I seek. I know that God is Love. When I love anything intensely, I am beginning to know it as God does. I want to love as God does. I can feel that love, but I don’t always know how to show it. I don’t always know how to speak or act when I’m with other people. I have to confront great anxieties and fears at times. Certain sounds, smells, colors, or other things really hurt me and make it very hard for me to be with other people. I don’t know all the social codes and misunderstand what others say, and they misunderstand what I say. I often have a hard time knowing what I feel, let alone expressing my emotions. Some people see me as someone they would rather not be with, or someone who has nothing to offer. I desperately want to do the right thing, but I often don’t know what the right thing is.
… Take my autism and make it a means of God’s love, wisdom and strength. Guide me and show me how I can best serve God and others through my autism. Show me how what I thought of as weakness, or what some people called weakness, is really a way for God to bless me and to bless many through me.
… Let me be that mustard seed, that measure of yeast, that seemingly small and insignificant thing that becomes a great blessing by God’s love
… May it all be according to God’s Word, now and forever. Amen.
Excerpt from Prayer of Consecration via St. Thorlak by Fr. Mark P. Nolette
Many autistic people, as well as their families, friends, and other fellow Catholics, have found in Saint Thorlak a powerful and compassionate intercessor before the Lord. Saint Thorlak, in his life, showed a number of personality traits that resemble autism. Whether or not he was actually autistic – and many believe he was – these traits make him a very appropriate Saint to turn to as an example and mentor in faith.
To be autistic is to possess a combination of strengths and limitations that is unusual. To be autistic is to feel isolated, misunderstood, even by some who truly love the autistic person. To be autistic is to face the challenges of extreme sensitivities to various things, overwhelming surges of anxieties, and the abysses of depression. On the other hand, to be autistic is to be able to love a certain interest with great focus and devotion. It is to be one who seeks truth and integrity above all. It is to be someone who notices things that others do not. It is to be someone who is capable of great loyalty. It is to be someone who is also capable of great compassion, even if that might not be expressed in the ways neurotypical people express it.
An autistic person is no less a person than anyone else. A baptized autistic person is no less a Christian, than anyone else. However, autistic people often feel misunderstood, incapable, unworthy and unwelcome even among fellow believers.
This is where Saint Thorlak comes in. There are already many stories of autistic people who were led to their true calling in the Body of Christ by Saint Thorlak, even before they knew he existed. Others, in seeking his intercession, found their anxieties lessen so that they could take an important step in their lives. Still others found renewed hope and a sense that they also belonged to the family of God.
By consecrating our autism (or the autism of a loved one), we seek to discover the power of God’s love in our weakness, to uncover the gifts God has given each of us, and to see the ways in which autism invites the entire community to witness God's presence with us.