A Message From Autism Consecrated's Co-Founder, Aimée O'Connell:
TL;DR - (1) Every neurodivergent youth is a capable disciple. It's up to us to be creative and flexible enough to let them be authentically who they are to the rest of the group. (2) We can't go wrong with universal design.
If our YM goals can be equally achieved by nonspeaking, mobility-challenged, low-energy, socially-reserved, multisensory processors of all academic abilities and styles as they can by active, gregarious, highly verbal, "typical" teens: we're good to go!
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I know that many people who click through to this page will be looking for concrete resources. Having been a youth ministry volunteer myself, I'm guessing you are here because you have a tried-and-true youth ministry program which reaches a fantastic group of young people - and yet, there are still some who are not participating in group activities or connecting well with their peers, and you suspect autism might be a factor. Perhaps you are looking to intentionally welcome and invite the autistic youngsters in your parish to participate. Maybe, too, there are one or two who have brought their autism to your attention, and you would like to know what can reach and help these kids in particular.
I need to start off by letting you know that you are not going to find answers or solutions on our website. It is my belief that the ideas you have and the programs you are using are exactly right, exactly as they are. Furthermore, it is also my belief that any program or activity designed solely for autistic people will either fall short or miss the mark entirely, which is why we do not offer such resources here. Instead, I encourage you to flip the narrative. Rather than aiming programs at neurodivergent youth, we need to provide space, creativity and resources to neurodivergent youth in the ways they process best.
How is it that I come by these convictions? For starters, I have a master's degree in school psychology and extensive background in working with, and developing accommodations for, autistic youngsters. But more importantly, I am autistic myself, and I have many years of lived experience to call upon. Many neurodivergent people benefit far more when others get to know us as individuals than from pre-packaged curricula and activities. While we can speak generally about autistic tendencies and what might or might not be helpful, we autistic people don't always match the assumptions others make about us, even those made in the best of intentions. We often feel unknown because our needs and preferences fall outside the norm and are hard to guess... and, because we have a difficult time processing and communicating at the speed of most groups. Pre-designed activities may be just fine if they are a good fit for our personality and processing style, so long as you remember there is no single autistic personality or processing style.
In the bigger picture, youth ministry is often a difficult fit for autistic people for practical reasons relating to our sensory needs and social anxiety. Group activities are hard, period. They can be (but are not always) confusing, unappealing, loud, too fast, and difficult to connect to the concept or object lesson you're trying to teach. Many of us like the idea of faith-sharing but not the games. Others like the games but not the vulnerability of faith-sharing! Some of us would like to dive more deeply into our faith than youth ministry is able to go. And some feel an enormous amount of pressure trying to be "faith-filled" and "have fun" at the same time, when we have been drilled for years that we need to behave differently in each scenario. (These are not just hypotheticals; I have heard these comments, and plenty more, from autistic teens who would love to participate but find it too confounding).
What else might keep autistic teens from attending? Group activities require a lot of social energy, which is often in short supply among autistics. If we have already had a long day where most of our "socializing and behaving properly" energy has been spent, we might not have a lot left for youth group. Or, if we only have one day when we can recharge between all the other things we do, we might decide it's too much to plug youth group into that day.
Don't discount physical differences which may be unseen. Besides the sensory demands of traditional group settings, neurodiverse youngsters often have co-occurring conditions such as joint hypermobility, dysautonomia and POTS which very often are just starting to emerge with adolescence. Teens may not have the energy levels they are "supposed" to have. Group games, hikes, sports, and anything requiring mobility may make participation prohibitive.
Did I mention anxiety? Besides sensory guarding, neurodiverse teens often struggle to navigate feelings of doubt and fear of rejection which can lead to difficulties with scrupulosity, demand anxiety and unrest around debate and doctrine. Teens in general are prone to strong reactions, and this alone can also induce anxiety among neurodiverse attendees. Validation, recognition, growth mindset and acceptance is key in modeling to the larger community how to help and support each other without fear of rejection.
Above anything else, GET TO KNOW EACH PERSON INDIVIDUALLY. Meet with them on their terms, and do so enough that you really have a sense of who they are, what they like, and what they don't like. Get to know their processing style, their relationship style, their prayer and spiritual style. Are they introverts or extraverts? Do they like to pray silently, or out loud? Do they enjoy music? Do they enjoy singing? What ways do they learn best - by reading, listening, visuals or activities? Do they have particular interests or questions about the faith? What ideas do they have as to what they would like to see or do to share their faith? Do they enjoy service projects? Individually, or with others? It is not just autistic people who can benefit from questions like these. Most people will be able to engage better when there is a balanced blend of visual, academic and experiential spirituality!
Equally important: BELIEVE THE PERSON. If someone says the lights are too bright, then the lights are too bright, even if you think they are already low. If someone says they don't feel comfortable, then they don't feel comfortable, and persuasion or cajoling will send the strong message that their needs are not as important as your agenda. If someone says they don't know, then, they don't know. Alexithymia in neurodiverse people makes it difficult for us to know what we feel about something or how to put it into words. Neurodiverse teens may see their peers reacting with strong emotion to a faith experience and feel their spirituality must be lacking if they do not have the same response, or if they can't testify and witness like their friends do. Faith sharing can be extremely difficult for reasons that have nothing to do with one's actual faith.
What about those who are introverts, who need alone time to process information, who feel especially anxious in group settings? The richness of our faith allows for many ways to meet these needs and still foster community. As a professed Third Order Carmelite, I can vouch that prayer is a powerful act of service and a meaningful way to engage with the community, even if this is done by one's self. Consider inviting those with higher social anxiety to pray for each week's youth group theme, or to be someone who takes intentions from the members of the youth group and dedicates time to pray for these needs, on their own schedule and terms. Consider pairing prayer partners between autistic and nonautistic youth - because this, too, is faith sharing in the community, and, where two or three gather in Jesus' name, He is there among them (Matthew 18:20).
Can nonverbal autistics be included too? Absolutely. Taking the time to get to know someone who has difficulty interacting can feel intimidating and challenging, but be patient with yourself. Most of us speak and interact so automatically that we do not stop to consider other ways of just-being with one another! Once we do, it is surprising to realize how many ways exist to share the love of Christ. Engaging less verbal and nonverbal youth will yield good fruit for the entire community, and once you get to know them well, it will be much easier to see how they would like to be included.
Oh - and, one more thing: Parents can be neurodiverse too. The same standards for universal design recognize and support parents who have sensory, executive functioning, social, processing and physical needs that do not fit neatly into the typical ways we might expect when putting family programs and expectations together.
While I can't promise answers or solutions, I am available to offer insights and ideas that are compatible with the programs that you already use. I believe it is very possible to create space within the existing community to welcome and encourage people on the autism spectrum - be they youth, adults or volunteers - by both recognizing the wonderful individuality of each person and considering ways that typical fellowship and faith sharing formats may be made easier on the senses to allow the quieter, more reflective participants to thrive.
If you have specific questions or topics that are of particular interest to your ministry area as pertains to autism, please use our contact form. I am also very happy to pray for you and your ministry! I would love to hear from you.
