Tenth Station

Jesus Is Crucified

Forgiving The Unrepentant and Unaware

We adore you, O Christ, and we praise you.
Because by your holy cross, you have redeemed the world.

Reading

When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him
and the criminals there, one on his right, the other on his left.
​Then Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, they know not what they do."  
(Luke 23: 33-34)

Reflection

Being part of the human community gives us opportunities to experience the best and the worst that people are capable of.  We have all experienced love from at least some people in our lives. However, we have also been wronged, hurt, misunderstood, and ridiculed by others. This is not distinctive of autistic people, of course. Anyone can experience such things.

Being on the spectrum, however, means that we are vulnerable to some things in ways that most people aren’t. Things that would scarcely faze most people can torment us.  Because of this, when people treat us poorly or cruelly, they may not be aware of cruel they are to us.  They may not even believe us when we speak of how some things can feel like torture to us.

In times like this, we may be told that we should forgive just like Jesus forgave His enemies on the Cross. That may confuse us, or seem very difficult, or even impossible.  It’s important to notice one little detail. Jesus did not actually forgive those who had crucified Him. If He did, He would have said, "Your sins are forgiven", or something very similar, as He said to so many who came to Him for mercy.  No, on the Cross, Jesus prays to the Father, that the Father might forgive their sin. He does not forgive them directly.

Why?

Whenever Jesus speaks of the necessity of forgiveness in our lives, He always does so in the context of the offender apologizing and asking for forgiveness. For Jesus, forgiveness is not something that one person dispenses from a great distance. No, forgiveness is meant to heal relationships and restore community.  It’s always a two-way street.

When Jesus is on the Cross, those who have condemned and crucified Him are not asking for forgiveness.  Far from it. They are convinced that they are right. Jesus prays to the Father, therefore, that one day they might repent and be forgiven.

It works the same for us. If someone does come and apologize for hurting us in some way, then, yes, we forgive them. But if that person cannot or will not see what they did to us, then the best we can offer is to pray: pray that, one day, they can seek mercy and be forgiven, for their own sake.  Then, we can pray for the grace to let that hurt go, even if it is deep, and to pray that Jesus can transform that hurt into compassionate love for all who are afflicted or abused or treated unjustly in any way.

Prayer

Father of mercy,
grant us Your strength and wisdom,
that we may follow You in all things.
Bless us with the ability to forgive
all those who seek our forgiveness,
and the mercy to pray that those who do not
may be led to repentance and forgiveness one day.

We ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.