Neurodivergent hospitality is not a contradiction

by Aimée O’Connell

One of the things we strive to do at Autism Consecrated is look at the many contradictory aspects of neurodivergent life in the hopes of finding solutions.  Universal design is a core value of ours, at times as much for the sport of the challenge as for the gratifying payoff each time the entire community can benefit from something which might instead have gone the way of an easily forgotten one-and-done accommodation.

The topic of hospitality is an ongoing conversation here.  What does hospitality look like for autistic and neurodivergent people?  Well, that’s not too difficult to answer, in theory.  Hospitality means “the friendly and generous reception of guests, visitors or strangers” (Oxford Dictionary).  Implied in that is a sense of genuine interest in providing a comfortable, safe, inviting setting for those who stop by.  Hospitality for the neurodivergent, then, is no more mystifying than finding out what our needs are, and then striving to provide for them.

Still, that can seem daunting to communities who are used to doing things as they have always been done, and who approach accommodations with a certain trepidation, consciously or not.  Besides that are the apparent contradictions between social ministries and autistic needs.  For instance: What does “fellowship” look like for those with low social energy, or in group settings that cannot provide the level of quiet and space some people need to communicate (that is, to process and participate in conversation)?  Any attempt to answer will be very setting-specific.  But here is a constant across all situations: connection is possible with as few as just two people.  Saint Thorlak often drew the attention of his mentees to what Jesus said in Matthew 18:20 (“Where two or more are gathered in my name, I AM present”).  Jesus is both present in the Sacrament of the Eucharist and in the community of His followers, whom he explicitly says comprise His Body.  In Matthew 18:20, He clarifies that community exists in groups as small as two – thus offering a way toward solving the question of hospitality for autistic and neurodivergent people.  Warmth, invitation, welcome and support can be offered individually to individuals at any place, any time, and community is achieved – that is to say, the Body of Christ is realized.

Saint Thorlak himself was mentored by the Victorine brothers in Paris, renowned for their credo Docere Verbo Et Exemplo – To Teach By Word And Example.  He had the reputation of being a stickler for the priests in his diocese to live what they preached, demonstrating discipline by themselves being well-disciplined, and demonstrating mercy by themselves being merciful.  He was also known to have great difficulty speaking, particularly in large groups (… sound familiar?) Much of his “teaching by word” was accomplished through writing, which was then read by and to clergy as pastoral instruction.  Saint Thorlak used writing to both accommodate his needs and conserve his social and physical energy for the Sacraments and important administrative matters.

Our pondering has led us to see Saint Thorlak’s method of teaching by word – both his frequent reference to Matthew 18:20, and his embracing his communication needs so fully – as his way of “teaching us by example.”  We constantly look for ways to model what we might like to see take shape in terms of universal design and outreach, all the while considering our needs as autistic people, and the needs of any autistic people in ministry and socially-active roles in church life.  It only makes sense to start with the same kinds of accommodations and supports as befit our own sensory and processing needs.  And so, we are going to try rolling out a beta version of one of our ideas.

Saint Thorlak’s Virtual Café is a simple page front offering images suggesting (we hope!) an inviting spot for website visitors to pause and connect, virtually.  If this were in three dimensions, we might picture a small café with comfortable seating, low lighting, a selection of refreshments which both please the palate and consider a variety of dietary needs… and, cats.  We happen to find cats most delightful and spirit-lifting.  If this were in three dimensions, we’d have to have cats, along with a cat-free room for those who find cats distressing or are allergic to cat dander.  (Anything is possible when we build cafés in our imaginations… the virtual model at least offers allergy-free images).  Over time, the cat theme may evolve into something more artfully nuanced; for now, the beta version has plain old snapshots of two feline denizens.

The café of our imagining would offer space to connect with one another, one or two at a time.  We’re not just proprietors here – we want to greet you, share time together and connect with you ourselves.  Your visit brings Christ present, and we are eager to welcome Him!  We genuinely seek the gift of your friendship.

Since this is a virtual café, we thought we might welcome visitors with a contact form.  We realize that has its limitations, particularly for those with low vision or difficulty typing.  It’s a beta version, after all, and our resources are extremely simple.  However, we hope that the technology on our visitors’ end can be of help to them.  Speech-to-text might work for those who need it, and perhaps down the road we can rig up a way to record spoken messages and send them through.  As for us, we rely heavily on typing, so that is a reflection of our own communication and processing styles.  We are happy to receive feedback and ideas if anyone has any to share.

So, what is the point of the form?  Anything our visitors want to say, share or ask.  Over the next few weeks, as Lent begins, we thought we might offer the specific idea of folks sharing their triumphs and frustrations with their Lenten journeys, since that (especially the latter) seems to be a common theme among fellow neurodiverse travelers.  Look for a blog post on that topic in the very near future.  But really, any topic you find relevant is of sufficient interest.

Please click through and give it a go!  May Saint Thorlak’s Virtual Café bless us with an autism-friendly realization of fellowship in the Body of Christ!

 

Novena in Honor of St. Thorlac

by Aimée O’Connell

 

The summer Feast Day of Saint Thorlak is observed each year on July 20, which commemorates the translation of Bishop Thorlak’s relics which took place in the summer of 1198.  Such a date would be necessary for any exhumation in the twelfth century, but also reflects a season when pilgrims from all parts of Iceland would be able to make the journey to Skálholt to attend the ceremony and have the opportunity to personally venerate the relics of Iceland’s newly-declared patron saint.  More details about the summer feast day can be found in this blog post of the Icelandic National League of the United States (INLUS).

The Novena in Honor of Saint Thorlac (which uses the Latinized spelling of Thorlak’s name) was approved by the Bishop of Iceland, Most Rev. David B. Tencer, in 2018, and is a nine-day prayer and reflection on St. Thorlak’s life and example.  The English text of this prayer is available for free viewing and download on the Autism Consecrated website, and is now also available in spoken English audio on each day’s page for those who prefer to listen to the words or move about as you pray.  Furthermore, the spoken prayers of the novena have been uploaded to our YouTube Channel with ambient background music and photo slideshows of Iceland for each day’s devotion.

May we join our prayers to St. Thorlak’s, for the physical and spiritual wellbeing of Iceland, and may St. Thorlak pray for each of us in our own particular needs!

Saint Thorlak: A Sermon by a Lutheran Minister from Denmark

Gratefully posted with permission of the author, Pastor René Yde – Denmark.

 

Dearly Beloved,

When we gather in church, we offer the sacrifice of thanksgiving for the praise and worship of God alone, but tonight we also have a kind of themed service because we celebrate the mass in memory of and in honor of an Icelandic saint, namely Saint Thorlak.

Why should we celebrate an Icelandic saint tonight? Because I have the vision for our community that over time we will celebrate all the Nordic saints, not only those from Denmark, but also from Sweden and Norway and therefore also from Iceland. We must get to know them and reflect on them as examples of lived Christian lives.

Saint Thorlak was born in 1133 in Iceland. He was made a deacon when he was fifteen, and ordained a priest when he was only eighteen. When he was twenty years old, he was sent to France and later to Lincoln in England, where he studied for six years. Here he showed astonishing abilities for theological study. He immersed himself in the Bible and in the writings of the Church Fathers with astonishing perseverance. Here he also got to know monastic life and became an Augustinian monk and since then he adhered to the rule with a stubborn tenacity. He returned to Iceland and lived the next six years as a parish priest. In 1168 he entered the first Augustinian monastery in Iceland and later became its abbot. When he was forty years old, he became bishop of the southern of Iceland’s two dioceses and he died on December 23, 1193, aged 60 years.

(For us Danes, who are not under the supremacy of the Roman pontiff, it is a piquant little detail that Saint Thorlak was not canonized by the bishop of Rome, but by the Icelandic Althing. It shows that a canonization may well be a local matter.)

How was Thorlak like as a person? Thorlak was a bookworm who could already read and write as a small child. He was shy and reluctant towards people. He was silent and withdrawn and could seem strange and dismissive if one tried to talk to him. In addition, he was a very complex personality with opposite and seemingly contradictory character traits.

On the one hand, Thorlak was incredibly rigid and regular of personality. To him, things were either right or wrong. He saw things exclusively in black and white. He was an unwavering Christian idealist and judged the world and men based on the ideals of the Christian religion and the revealed law of God in the Bible and in the teachings of the Church. This led to him becoming very unpopular among the priests and the Icelandic nobles.

On the other hand, Thorlak was of a very mild and gentle disposition. He was humble and loving and had a great deal of compassion for his fellow Christians, to whom he showed a great deal of responsibility because of his holly office. He had a big heart for the poor and the weak and for those who had transgressed against the law of God. It even happened that Thorlak, as the confessor, imposed a really hard and severe penance on the sinner in the confession, after which he, as bishop, freed him from the penance and took it upon himself. This made the laity take him to its heart and greatly appreciated him as a pastor and bishop.

Thorlak was in fact a shining example of the excellent pastoral and Christian principle that says: “Strict in theory and mild in practice.” We Christians must be ruthless in our judgment of thoughts and ideas and judge them strictly on the basis of the revealed truth in the Bible and in the tradition of the Church, but we must be compassionate and gracious and gentle towards people, for that is how our Lord Jesus wants us to be.

How can an individual have such a great degree of opposite character traits as Saint Thorlak? That can actually be well explained, because it is overwhelmingly likely that Saint Thorlak was autistic.

Autism is a particularly congenital condition in which one has difficulty functioning in social contexts and is not very good at discerning social conventions and norms between people. One often has a rigid and strict approach to life and one may have difficulty functioning in the ordinary social interactions.

If Saint Thorlak had autism, which is most likely, then he is a good role model for people who are born with this special challenge and can for them be an example that even an autist can be saved and attain holiness and live in God’s love and grace.

Even if you do not have autism, you can use Saint Thorlak as a role model. He was born into the world with a special and difficult challenge. He was autistic and he had his special problems and challenges to contend with, but he overcame them by the grace of God. He sought the peace in the name of Jesus despite his social disability and turned his shortcomings into a love of the truth and of our Lord Jesus. Thorlak sought and found the forgiveness and grace that flows to us from the Holy Cross of Christ. He humbled himself, fought his sins and hardships, and found the saving and sanctifying love of Christ in the preaching and means of grace of the Church.

There is a word that says, “Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.” Each of us has his special challenges and struggles. We are all born with special faults in nature that we are called to overcome by the grace of God. Each of us must fight against this or that sin or this or that particular challenge in our personality or this or that external circumstance. We are different also on the spiritual level, but the path is the same for everyone. We must all indulge in the grace from Calvary and be filled with the love of God through faith.

Saint Thorlak had autism, but he overcame this particular challenge of his and became a Christian shepherd for the Icelandic people, lovingly guiding them on their journey with God. You have your special challenges and I have mine. Let us together remember Saint Thorlak as a Christian man with a large and heavy cross to bear, but who bore it in love for the crucified and risen Savior. Let us take Saint Thorlak as a model for our Christian life and know that it is not our external or internal circumstances that determine whether we are saved, but only our will to belong to Christ and his church.

I will end my sermon by reading the antiphon that was sung in the medieval office on Saint Thorlak’s day:

“O shepherd of Iceland, you who are the father of truth, the pillar of permanence, the reflection of purity, you who soothe grief and is hope for the despairing, you led us to the meadows of our heavenly Fatherland.”

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.

The Prayer of Consecration via Saint Thorlak

by Father Mark P. Nolette – Autistic Priest/Hermit

Many autistic people, as well as their families, friends, and other fellow Catholics, have found in Saint Thorlak a powerful and compassionate intercessor before the Lord.  Saint Thorlak, in his life, showed a number of personality traits that resemble autism.  Whether or not he was actually autistic – and many believe he was – these traits make him a very appropriate Saint to turn to for intercession and help before the Lord.

This prayer is intended primarily for autistic people who wish to consecrate their autism to God in the way of Saint Thorlak.  It may also be prayed by family members of people who are profoundly autistic and cannot say the words on their own.

Why would someone want to consecrate their own autism – or the autism of a loved one – to God, via Saint Thorlak? What is the point?

No matter where one is on the autism spectrum, to be autistic is to possess a combination of strengths and limitations that is unusual.  To be autistic is to feel isolated, misunderstood, even by some who truly love the autistic person.  To be autistic is to face the challenges of extreme sensitivities to various things, overwhelming surges of anxieties, and the abysses of depression.  On the other hand, to be autistic is to be able to love a certain interest with great focus and devotion.  It is to be one who seeks truth and integrity above all. It is to be someone who notices things that others do not. It is to be someone who is capable of great loyalty.  It is to be someone who is also capable of great compassion, even if that might not be expressed in the ways neurotypical people express it.

An autistic person who is baptized is no less a Catholic, no less a Christian, than anyone else. However, autistic people often feel misunderstood, incapable, unworthy and unwelcome even among fellow Catholics, for the reasons stated above and others.

This is where Saint Thorlak comes in. There are already many stories of autistic people who were led to their true calling in the Church by Saint Thorlak, even before they knew he existed. Others, in seeking his intercession, found their anxieties lessen so that they could take an important step in their lives.  Still others found renewed hope and a sense that they also belonged to the family of God.

By consecrating one’s own autism – or the autism of a loved one – to God in the way of Saint Thorlak, we open our hearts, minds and bodies to his blessing, intercession and guidance. We entrust ourselves to Saint Thorlak’s friendship, knowing that he will help us discover the power of God’s love in our weakness, uncover the gifts God has given us, and help us see how to put them to the service of others.  Saint Thorlak understands the unique challenges and blessings of autism.  His presence and intercession will be a great gift, and a means of God’s love, for all those who consecrate their autism with him.

Make this consecration only when you are ready.  If you are unsure about consecrating your own autism via Saint Thorlak, pray and ask for guidance.  You will know when the time has come.  If you are a family member and are concerned about making this consecration in someone else’s name, there is no need to worry.  Remember the people who brought the paralyzed man to Jesus.  The Gospels tell us that Jesus, when He saw their faith, healed the man.  Saint Thorlak can bless your autistic family member though you making this consecration in that person’s name.  He will also bless you and your whole family.

Here, then, is a Prayer of Consecration of Autism via Saint Thorlak.

 

Holy Thorlak,

I come before you as a Christian and an autistic person.

As a Christian, I seek to love the Lord with all my heart, with all my mind, with all my soul, with all my body, and with all my strength.  I seek to love my neighbor as myself.  I seek to see Christ in the least of my sisters and brothers, as He has taught me.  I seek to be close to Him always; close in prayer, close in the Sacraments, close as I read the Scriptures, close as I love others, close as I welcome the love of others for me. 

As an autistic person, I know that Christ is the Truth, the ultimate Source of all truth that I seek.  I know that God is Love.  When I love anything intensely, I am beginning to know it as God does.  I want to love as God does.  I can feel that love, but I don’t always know how to show it.  I don’t always know how to speak or act when I’m with other people.  I have to confront great anxieties and fears at times.  Certain sounds, smells, colors, or other things really hurt me and make it very hard for me to be with other people.  I don’t know all the social codes and misunderstand what others say, and they misunderstand what I say.  I often have a hard time knowing what I feel, let alone expressing my emotions. Some people see me as someone they would rather not be with, or someone who has nothing to offer.  I desperately want to do the right thing, but I often don’t know what the right thing is. 

Holy Thorlak, I need your help.  In your life, you had to struggle to speak and be understood.  You felt isolated and misunderstood. You felt anxieties and depression.  And yet, in your love of God you found strength in your weakness and became a compassionate shepherd to those whom God entrusted to your care. 

Holy Thorlak, I now entrust myself to your care.  I wish to consecrate my autism to God by following the way you exemplify.  I offer my weaknesses – my anxieties and fears, my depression and awkwardness, my sensitivities and my isolation.  I offer my gifts – my great love for my interests, my desire for truth and integrity, my passion for justice, and every other gift I have received from God.  I consecrate all of this, all that my autism has given me, to God.

Holy Thorlak, pray for me, that my autism may be a means of God’s love, wisdom and strength. Guide me and show me how I can best serve God and others through my autism. Show me how what I thought of as weakness, or what some people called weakness, is really a way for God to bless me and to bless many through me.

Holy Thorlak, I ask all of this of you that I might become a true follower of the Lord just as you were in your life.  Please pray for me to the Lord that He might bless me and bless others through me.  Let me be that mustard seed, that measure of yeast, that seemingly small and insignificant thing that becomes a great blessing by God’s love.  Let it all happen for your own mission, Holy Thorlak, and for God’s glory.  May Our Blessed Mother, Mary, and all the angels and saints join you in prayer for me as I consecrate my autism.

May it all be according to God’s Word, now and forever.

Amen.