“Welcome” Seems To Be The Hardest Word

Autism Consecrated is kicking off our Pastoral Inclusion of Autism Series!

Whether you are reading this as an autistic person or someone who serves the community in some way, this next wave of posts on pastoral inclusion of autism will hopefully spark thoughts and ideas applicable to anyone.  While many of these points seem simple, their implications run quite deep.

 

Part One: “Welcome” Seems To Be The Hardest Word

by Aimée O’Connell

In my career, I have done a great deal of consulting: first as a school psychologist, then as a family support liaison for adults living with mental illness, and most recently with ministry volunteers looking to be more welcoming and inclusive toward those on the autism spectrum.  I find it exhilarating to demystify and humanize things like learning disabilities, mental illness and autism, which our culture tends to classify as conditions separating people from the ability to achieve what we collectively call “success” – that is to say, a sense of ease and accomplishment with our lives, our identities, and our relationships.   Our culture so greatly values individual achievement that there is an unspoken sense of “yes, but” when a person needs help to attain what the majority can do independently.  Thus, when someone identifies with one of these conditions upfront, we unconsciously equate that with needing help – whether we are the people disclosing their conditions or the ones standing by.

With autism awareness growing over the past decade, there is a proliferation of information available in print and online to describe autism to those not yet familiar with what this means.  There are descriptions coming from clinical sources which outline the situations most likely to be difficult for autistic people, and there are resources developed by autistics themselves describing which  accommodations are helpful.  Somewhere in the middle are articles and checklists which provide detailed ways to help autistic people feel comfortable and accepted.

I want to make a strange suggestion: I would like to propose skipping over all that information.

Do you want to help your community be more welcoming and accessible to autistics?  Start by asking yourself anthropologically what any community does to express “welcome.”  Some of it is overt, even including signage using that word, but much of it is completely unspoken, with the expectation that those who show up want to be here, are able to participate, and have something worthwhile to contribute.  Generally, “welcome” is a signal that says we are at ease with newcomers joining our group and that we feel confident that participants have the capacity to be here.  “Welcome” is a statement of approval and acceptance into the community.

At the risk of being absurd, I say that “welcome” does not take the time to study newcomers or approach them as puzzles to solve.  “Welcome” does not make clinical assessments at the door or convene task forces to study how to restructure activities, modify the environment or come to the aid of the less-able.

If we know all of this intuitively, then making our community welcoming and accessible to autistics is a matter of signaling that we are at ease with autistics joining our group, and that we feel confident they have the capacity to be here.

All that other stuff can happen further down the road, if it seems helpful or appropriate.  Want to better appreciate what it’s like to be autistic?  Ask us, or read about autism… but, do that after you invite us in and assure us that our being there is important.  Want to make autistic people more comfortable or better able to participate in the activities at hand?  Ask us, or read about ways to do so… but, do that after you invite us in and assure us that our being there is important.

“Solving the problem of autism” ahead of time may be efficient, but it necessarily tags us as a problem.  That does not feel very welcoming.

Of course, it is important to know what makes an autistic person comfortable and optimizes our ability to participate.  That comes after (and because of) the welcome.  A core list of considerations for autistic well-being includes sensory regulation, physical space, preferred communication style, social participation and personal interests.  As part of sensory regulation, it is important to consider lighting, acoustics, decibel level, textures, temperatures, ability to move around, ambient aromas and visual layout. Dietary preferences and supports are also an important consideration.

None of this is terribly cumbersome, and none of this is any one person’s responsibility.  In fact, it ought to be viewed in terms of partnership.  Autistic people want to participate optimally wherever we go, so as a matter of course, we are motivated toward configuring our considerations as best we can in any given situation.  While no community or situation can match every ideal, autistic people are excellent collaborators in anticipating which situations may be more difficult to navigate and which may be made easier.  Knowing that the community is equally interested in supporting our well-being reflects the welcome we received in the beginning.  It is a natural consequence of being genuinely accepted, as implied by “welcome” itself.

Unfortunately, “welcoming” people with differences can quickly morph into, or be supplanted by, anxiety to accommodate.  “Problem-solving” may sound empowering, but in truth, such focus poses a greater barrier to inclusion than any reluctance to understand or accommodate.  Problem-solving defers welcoming the person by looking instead at what the community might be asked to do differently if this person is allowed in.

“Welcome” is a subtle but powerful word.  In keeping with its purest meaning, the challenge then becomes redefining how we carry that out.

 

 

 

Encore: The Autistic Image of God

This post originally appeared on the Mission of Saint Thorlak website in 2019, but serves as a very good capstone on Autism Awareness Month, particularly as it so eloquently describes our vision for the Autism Consecrated community. – Aimee 

Towards a Spirituality of Autistic Life

by Father Mark P. Nolette

The stone which the builders rejected has become the cornerstone. By the Lord has this been done; it is wonderful in our eyes. – Psalm 118:22-23

A thorn in the flesh was given to me, an angel of Satan, to beat me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me, but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.”  I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. – 2 Corinthians 12:7-9

Consider your own calling, brothers and sisters. Not many of you were wise by human standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. Rather, God chose the foolish of the world to shame the wise, and God chose the weak of the world to shame the strong, and God chose the lowly and despised of the world, those who count for nothing, to reduce to nothing those who are something, so that no human being might boast before God. – 1 Corinthians 1: 26-29

What does it mean to be Catholic and autistic? How can autistic people encounter the Lord in their lives? What do autistic Catholics offer to the rest of the Church, to the entire Body of Christ? How does an autistic person exist in the image and likeness of God?  Can God have an autistic face?  If so, what might such a face look like?

First of all, let us recall that autistic people remain human beings. Autistic people are also sinners in need of redemption.  We need the grace, reconciliation and salvation that is found in Christ through His Church.  We need to be incorporated into the very life of the Triune God.  We need the Church. We need the Sacraments.  We need prayer.  We need the example and the inspiration of the saints, both past and present. We need to live lives of committed, faithful, just and persevering love.  In all these ways, we are the same as all other people.

Yet, we are not quite the same.  We are on the autism spectrum.  For some of us, it may be more obvious than for others. Nevertheless, for all of us on the spectrum, autism is a reality that permeates every aspect of our lives.  Autism is a way of being in the world, or perceiving the world, and of responding to the world that makes us “different”. Not better or worse; simply different. We would then expect that our life of faith – the way that we as autistic people encounter God and respond to God – will be at least somewhat different than that of others because of our autism.  Not different in the sense that we experience things that no one else experiences at all. Different in the sense that certain experiences that are present in the lives of most people – at least to a limited extent – are far more prominent in our lives because we are autistic.

Think of these examples. Everyone deals with other people, but only certain people are very social and choose a calling that requires such a social nature.  Everyone is alone – or needs to be alone – now and then, but only certain people choose to live alone as something essential to their calling.  It is the same with us as autistic people when we see ourselves in the midst of humanity as a whole.

What does it mean to be autistic? If we look to the DSM-5 under “Autism Spectrum Disorder “ (note the term ‘disorder’), we will find a description of various characteristics.  Intense special interests. A strong sense of being apart from others. A love of routine and of ritualized behavior, and a hatred of change. Difficulties with empathy.  And so on.

Note that all of these characteristics are considered abnormal and therefore pathological. They are seen as weaknesses, as expressions of a disturbance or disorder, as symptoms that something is not right with us.  To be different from the vast majority of other people makes us somehow disordered, pathological, psychologically unwell. That’s the unspoken implication of the way that all the behaviors that set us apart as autistic are described.

Now, it is possible that any or all of these behaviors could become pathological. This can happen if we do not know or accept that we are autistic, and do not understand why we do what we do or respond as we do.  This can happen if others have somehow abused us or taken advantage of us.  This can happen if we find ourselves in a life situation that is simply too much for us as autistic people. But – and this is a BIG but – autistic behaviors need not be pathological. As Tony Attwood noted in his book on Asperger’s Syndrome, if you leave an autistic person alone – or pair that person with someone who shares one of his/her intense interests – there is no sign of pathology at all. None of our autistic behaviors need be pathological or bad or destructive. In fact, it is my contention that every one of them can become a way for us to encounter the Lord, and for others to encounter the Lord in us.  Yes, that which has marked us off as unlike others, or inferior to others, can become the cornerstone on which the Lord builds His grace in our lives.

Accordingly, I will now explore several experiences or behaviors that are characteristic of us as autistic people, and show how each one has a definite parallel in the story of God’s relationship to His People throughout the Scriptures and the history of the Church.  This will help us, as autistic people, to reframe these experiences and behaviors as encounters with God, and it will help those who are not autistic to see how autistic people, by their very presence in the Church, are reminders to the whole People of God of some fundamental truths about God and about what it means to belong to God in His Church.

1) The Experience of Otherness

We autistic people – even before we know ourselves as autistic – experience ourselves as ‘other’, as different in some definite but almost inexpressible way from other people. There is often a profound sense of being disconnected from other people.  We may want to connect with others or fit in now and then, but may have no clue how to do so.  Looking at other people, we may feel like anthropologists studying some newly-discovered primitive tribe. (What are they doing? Why are they doing that?) Usually, we are content to be alone, even though we value our friends and want to be with them from time to time.  Even among friends, however, we feel ‘other’; we feel different.  Others tell us that we are different, and that is rarely said as a compliment. We feel misunderstood, isolated, alone.  If we do not understand what this sense of ‘otherness’ can point to in a positive sense, we will end up seeing it as a negative reflection on ourselves.  We then feel hopelessly flawed, or hopelessly unseen.

Can we find an experience of otherness in our Catholic tradition? Definitely! From the very beginning, God is called holy. We usually associate holiness with great goodness, but that was not the original meaning of ‘holy’. ‘Holy’ meant ‘other’.  “I am God and not man, the Holy One in your midst.” God was seen as the Radically Other.  God was not like anything else we could know in our world.   God is Other.  If God is holy in the sense of being Other, then His People must also be Holy. They must be Other.  They cannot be like the nations that are all around.  Here is where the sense of holiness as goodness enters the picture.  We are Other as God’s people.  Therefore, we cannot live like everyone else. No, we must live according to God’s ways.  This sense of God as Holy, as Other, and the sense of God’s People as also Holy and Other, is found in both Old and New Testaments.

In this light, we can say that one important reason why we as autistic people, because of our unusual sensitivities, feel like we are ‘other’ is because we have an unconscious sense of the presence of God who is Other. Moreover, our presence among the people of God is meant to remind them that they, too, must be ‘other’. They cannot live like everyone else does.  They belong to God, who is Other. Their lives need to be in harmony with the ways of God, which are not necessarily the ways of nations and cultures.  This is not a popular message in a society that claims to honor diversity but demands uniformity. Followers of Christ must be different. We must be Other.  We autistic people help remind our sisters and brothers of this.

2) Repetitive Behaviors/Love Of Routines/Hatred of Change

We autistic people tend to like doing things in a certain way.  We usually like to have things in certain places, and to follow certain routines.  The unexpected can be very hard on us. It takes time and effort to adapt to any change. We may soothe ourselves with repetitive motions.  In a society that values newness and change, such behaviors and attitudes appear as problems. Other people cannot understand why we act as we do, or why change is so painful for us.  They only see it negatively.

Can our Catholic tradition enlighten us? Yes. We have already spoken of the holiness of God in our tradition.  How do people respond in the presence of the Holy? In the Old Testament, they did special washings, they followed certain rules, and they maintained a certain distance between the Ark of the Covenant (which symbolized God’s presence) and everyone else.  In the New Testament and in the Church since then, we have liturgies, sacraments, and various styles of prayer.  In other words, we have established routines, repetitive behaviors that rarely change, when we are in the presence of the Holy. That’s what liturgy is.  That’s what ritual is.  That’s how people have instinctively responded to the presence of the Holy for thousands of years.  That’s how we as Catholic Christians respond to the Holy among us now.

In this light, we can say that our routines and repetitive behaviors – though they do soothe us – may also flow from an unconscious or subconscious sense of the presence of the Holy, of God, among us.  We can see them as reminders that we are in God’s presence always.  Other people, who are not autistic, can learn to see these behaviors as reminders that they, too, are always in the presence of the Holy – God – no matter where they are or what they do.

3) Special Interests

We autistic people, from our earliest memories, have had a sense of otherness, of separation from people in general and the world around us.  We perceive ourselves as unique in ways we cannot define or express. This sense of otherness would appear to lead us into the direction of total isolation.  But then, something draws our attention. Something that attracts and fascinates us.  This thing becomes the first breach in our isolation, a crack through which the beauty of the world first captures our notice and through which our wonder and awe first pour forth.  This is not obsessive.  This is falling in love with the beauty of reality.  The thing that enraptures us could be something generic, like dinosaurs, or something more specific, like a specific part of a vacuum cleaner. To others who do not share this love, our focus seems excessive and obsessive. To us, it is sheer delight.  Our greatest act of love is to share it with someone else.  Here is where we first learn to love.

Can our Catholic tradition say something about this? Yes, indeed. We have something called the doctrine of election (and I’m not referring to voting). It means that, out of all the peoples of the world, God chose a people – Israel – for Himself. Not because Israel was better in any way, nor because God hated other nations, but because God wanted one people to come to know Him, to witness to Him, and to be the means through which all the nations of the world would find the blessing of faith in Him.  This sense of election continues in the New Testament and beyond. Those who become members of Christ’s Body, the Church, are the new Israel, the new People of God.  We are chosen, not because we are better than others in any way, but for God’s own purposes: that we might witness to the world through our lives the Gospel given us by Our Lord Jesus Christ, especially in His Passion, Death and Resurrection.  We are the “breach”, so to speak, through which Christ can pour forth His love and grace into a wounded world.

In this light, we can say the following.  First of all, we autistic people can think of our special interests – whatever they are – and tell ourselves, “I am one of God’s special interests. God loves me even more than I love my favorite things!” Secondly, our special interests remind others that they, too, are chosen by God to be a part of His Church and that they are loved even more than we autistic people love our interests (and that’s saying something).  Thirdly, our special interests are really a training ground for love.  In first learning to love one thing, we begin to learn how to love other people and God as well.

4) Empathy

We autistic people run into a serious misunderstanding on the part of other people when it comes to empathy. Because we may have difficulty knowing what we feel, let alone expressing it, people may assume that we do not feel for others. The problem here is that people do not realize that there are two kinds of empathy, as Simon Baron Cohen points out in his work: cognitive empathy and affective empathy. Cognitive empathy is the ability to “read” another person and understand what that person is feeling. With autistic people, cognitive empathy is impaired or even absent.  We usually have a very difficult time in reading someone else’s feelings, until we learn to do so after many years of life.  Affective empathy is the ability to care about how the other person is feeling.  Some studies suggest that autistic people often have a high degree of affective empathy, even if they cannot always demonstrate it well to others.  If we are told that someone feels upset or hurt, we will feel upset or hurt.

Combine this with the autistic person’s usual sense of otherness or isolation, and something interesting begins to emerge. If an autistic person acts on his/her feelings of affective empathy, that person is not likely to feel much affirmation for that act of love. This is partly due to the autistic person’s sense of isolation, and partly due to how difficult it is for the autistic person to express feelings or other inner motivations. For example, here is a story about a young autistic man who began to serve at a homeless shelter and soup kitchen. Some of the homeless people accused him of being “a bad man” because he did not seem warm like the other volunteers. Stories like this one suggest that, whenever an autistic person chooses to love, that love (if it is to last) will become an unconditional love very quickly.  The young man had very little feedback or praise, and lots of questions in his own mind. But he believed that this ministry was what God was calling him to do, and that was enough.  If that isn’t unconditional love, I have never seen it.

Here we get to the very core of our Catholic tradition.  Our faith tells us that God is love.  But what kind of love? A total, selfless, unconditional love. A love that seeks a response, to be sure.  Nevertheless, an unconditional love.  We have St. Paul’s meditation on love in 1 Corinthians 13.  We have St. Paul writing to the Philippians about how Christ emptied Himself, took the form of a slave, and died on the Cross out of love for us.  We have numerous other witnesses to this love – not to mention countless saints who incarnated this Love in their lives, each in their own way.

In this light, we autistic people can see our affective empathy, and the misunderstandings we may encounter as we try to serve others, as an invitation from Our Lord to love as He loves, to have His love dwell in our hearts in all its fullness.  People who are not autistic, but who understand that we are, will see in us a model of disinterested love, a love that gets nothing out of it, but loves for love’s own sake.  Is this not the kind of love most needed in our world now?

Now that you’re warmed up, see if you can go on from here. Think of some characteristic of autistic people that I have not mentioned here.  Does it remind you of anything you have ever read in Scripture or learned about your faith? See if you can make a connection like I have here.

It is my hope that these few words will help people both on and off the spectrum to see autistic people in a different light.  God often chooses those whom the world dismisses and works His wonders in and through them. Autistic people are among God’s little ones.  Let no one tell you otherwise.

 

Call For Submissions

Autism Consecrated Resource Library Call for Submissions

April, 2020: Autism Consecrated is pleased to announce an open call for submissions for publishing on our website’s Resource Area, social media and video channels.

Our goal is to invite people from across all communities, worldwide, to share their insights, ideas and testimonies in an effort to create a comprehensive resource library accessible by anyone with an internet connection. Whatever your background may be, if you have thoughts toward achieving Autism Consecrated’s vision “to realize autism’s belonging in the Body of Christ,” we would love to share them far and wide! Read on to learn more about the goals of the conference and what we look for in submissions.

Types of Submissions

As every person has their own personal communication strengths, so too are we looking for a diverse array of submissions.  The manner in which you communicate best is the one we are looking for.  Audio, visual, video and written submissions are all welcome.

Who May Submit Presentations

The short answer is, “anyone!”

That said, here are some more specific examples of who might be interested in participating.

Autistic People and their Supporters

There are few presentations as valuable as those which come from direct, firsthand expertise.  In fact, it would be impossible to build a resource library to address the needs of the autistic community without having its foundation in the autistic community itself!  What are your spiritual needs?  What are the practical challenges to being autistic Christians?  What ways does autism enhance your faith and that of your community?

Key Players in Faith Communities

What have you seen that affirms – or, would affirm –  the value of autistic members in our faith communities?  How can we foster such initiatives in our own and in other communities?  How does the perception of the community encourage autistic people to fulfill their potential in the Body of Christ, even when autism at times appears to interfere with this purpose?

Clergy and Administrators

What are the successes, as well as the challenges, you have seen in meeting the spiritual needs of the autistic community?  What supports do YOU need in serving the autistic community?

Scholars, Theologians and Essayists

How do we reconcile autism’s gifts and challenges with Sacred Scripture, Church Tradition and the theology of disability?  How can we discuss this in ways that include, accept and invite people who may feel unworthy or incapable of participating in worship and community faith activities because of autism?

What we are looking for

Diverse topics

While there will be some overlap expected, we are hoping to get a variety of responses from many perspectives so that our library can truly become a resource for the wide, wide community.

Practicality and positivity

Submissions should reflect hope, encouragement and possibility.  While there is a time and a place for addressing grievances, our library is intended to go beyond identifying problems into generating and offering solutions.

The Gift of your Expertise

Autism Consecrated is a website, not a business.  While we are glad to have this be a mutually beneficial opportunity for professional exposure, and we are aware that many contributors have legitimate reason to promote their talents, the primary reason for contributing to our library is to offer your particular expertise as a gift to others and other communities.  If promotion is the main thrust of your submission, please consider a more appropriate venue to publicize your work.

Respectful Language

“Realizing Autism’s Belonging in the Body of Christ” is the banner under which our website resides.  Although we are Christian in our beliefs, we respect everyone of all abilities, backgrounds and traditions, and we ask that submissions show that same respect to one and all.  We reserve the right to edit or refuse submissions that do not consistently uphold the inherent dignity of every person as a child of God.

Selection Process

We will review submissions in the order in which they are received, and strive to notify you of selection status in as short a time frame as circumstances allow.

Format Details

Submissions may be in the format which best reflects your communication style, so long as they are generally coherent and able to be accessed by the worldwide online audience.  Length is at your creative discretion.  As a general rule, the more efficiently you convey your key message, the better the chances of reaching your intended audience.

Questions?

If you have any questions, please email us at autismconsecrated@gmail.com and we will respond as soon as we are able.

Ready?  Set?  SUBMIT!  All submissions become the property of Autism Consecrated and must be accompanied by a signed release form in order to be considered. 

Submit your contribution and signed release form to:

autismconsecrated@gmail.com

Thank You!

-Aimée O’Connell, Co-Founder of Autism Consecrated

Do You Want To Build A Library?

by Aimée O’Connell

 

Once upon a short while ago, the team at Autism Consecrated was assembling a symposium entitled “Autism Through the Eyes of God,” intended to bring together an array of speakers to inspire and challenge those in attendance to flip our view of autism as a disability and see what it might look like in terms of the gifts each autistic person brings to the faith community.  We had just begun to consider location, date and cost when COVID-19 asserted itself as the card holder in all of our affairs, and now we find ourselves looking at an entirely new landscape where public gatherings are concerned.  Not only are conferences being postponed indefinitely, but prospective attendees are facing job cuts, loss of work hours and a necessary reshuffling of priorities across the board.

While these new operating parameters take precedence among service providers around the world, the topic of autism in our faith communities is just as relevant, if not more so during times of crisis and uncertainty. Moreover, the shift from real interaction to electronic and virtual contacts in the name of public safety only reinforces the spiritual health benefits we lose when we cannot interact in person. Our hope all along was to create a symposium to share our common goals in the same space. Until that can happen… what can we do?

Do you want to build a library?

We were already planning to upload the “best of” our live symposia talks to our YouTube channel.  While we wait for that time when we are able to gather and inspire one another in person, why not enkindle and explore ideas without limits, without cost, and without letting this time of quarantine detract from the passion we carry in our hearts for realizing autism’s belonging in the Body of Christ?

In that spirit, we are opting right now to convert our “Presentations” section to a Clickable Resource Library. In order to build that library, we need content! As such, we are rolling out a Call for Submissions, accompanied by a Release of Information Form, which we will make available in a separate post here and in the Resource Area on the main page of our website.

Whether you have a submission you would like to contribute or a request for a specific topic to be covered, we need your input!

We also need our Call for Submissions shared far and wide in order to get this Resource Library off the ground. Please help us get the word out via email and social media. Download the documents here, or request them by email at autismconsecrated@gmail.com.

Do you want to build a library?  Let’s do this!

 

 

Support for Autistic Vocations

As part of Autism Consecrated’s vision “to realize autism’s belonging in the Body of Christ,” we are setting up a Vocations area with the intention of offering support and encouragement to autistic people who have been called to certain vocations on behalf of the Church: the diocesan priesthood, religious orders, consecrated virgins, and hermits.  The specific calling you have from the Lord gives you something in common with everyone else who shares that calling.  In accepting the calling, you are taking on a way of life that is already established and which comes with a number of expectations.  In all of this, you are on the same page as everyone else who shares your calling.

On the other hand, you are autistic.  You are not totally defined by your autism. Nevertheless, your autism influences nearly every aspect of your lives, including how you understand, respond to and live out your vocation in the Church.  Your autism gives you certain challenges that others around you may not understand – anxiety, a need for routine, or difficulties with social interactions, to name some examples. At the same time, your autism gives you gifts and graces that not everyone has or will understand, either.  You may find yourself unusually sensitive to the spiritual realm.  You may have an allergy to doublespeak or hypocrisy that may irritate others but shows your commitment to truth.  You may discover that the Lord’s power is made most evident in what others would call your weaknesses.

Even though you may have a strong commitment to your vocation and have friends who support your vocation, being autistic means that a significant aspect of your life is not readily understood by even those who are close to you.  You may feel isolated or unseen.

Here, we wish to offer a space where you can be seen and understood, as much as you wish.  We wish to offer ways by which you can see your autism more holistically and better integrate it into your vocation and your life as a whole.

This is a work in progress.  We may offer some resources or posts that we hope you will find helpful.  I can offer my experiences of negotiating my vocation as a diocesan priest and a contemplative while being autistic.  On the sidebar, you will see where we are setting up a forum for users to seek support from us and from one another.  We are open to any suggestions you may have as to what you would find most helpful from a page like this one.  Likewise, we encourage you to share this page with those you know who might find it helpful.

May Saint Thorlak, our Patron, guide us as we seek to help one another!

Peace in the Lord,

Father Mark Nolette

 

 

 

 

 

Autism In The Pandemic: When We Don’t Conform

TL;DR: Crisis situations amplify society’s demand for conformity, which under normal circumstances is already a challenge for autistics.  The thoughts and feelings of divergent thinkers are valid and welcome even when these fall outside the norms being set by the pandemic.

This post, I’m sure, is not for everyone.  It may be for some, in parts, and others in other parts.  It is not meant to be a universally applied patch, but I offer it for those who will find it helpful.

Over the past three weeks, great good has unfolded in the world as people come together and support one another in many hours of need.  But there are social perils afloat in the community as we rally together.  Without exaggeration, some autistics are feeling now more marginalized than ever before.  But, why?  Can we really point a finger at the pandemic?

Yes.  Crisis situations amplify society’s demand for conformity, which under normal circumstances is already a challenge for autistics.  Furthermore, the ways we are not easily understood outside of crisis situations can become greatly magnified when tensions run high.  Yet, our needs have not changed, and we cannot put them on hold because everyone is somehow expected to cope with valor “because it’s a crisis.”  It is just as acceptable to be needy now as it was before the orders came to postpone all nonessential matters.

Another point to address: Autistic people do not automatically feel vindicated by either “stay-home orders” or “social distancing.”  In fact, many of us are keenly aware of how this new way of living is creating great pain and frustration for ourselves and others, and for us to wish that on anyone is absurd.  Autistics do not routinely stand six feet from our friends… many of us do enjoy hugs, when we expect them… and no, we have not all longed for the day when we are ordered to stay home.  (Some autistics are even extroverts who are struggling greatly right now!) There are many days autistics will retreat to recover our spent energy, but being part of the community is as important to autistics as anyone else.  If anything, autistic anxiety is likely much higher with all the new and rapidly changing rules, frightening images, panic buying and shortages of supplies we need, and the tremendous suffering we are now aware of, day after day.  Also, those of us who need a set amount of personal space to stay regulated are finding it most challenging to be home with other people, day after day, without the ability to have any truly “alone” time.  The assumption that quarantine is an autistic’s dream come true brings us right to the brink of crying foul in the name of cultural appropriation.

How, then, are autistics adapting to the new normal?  As best we can.  All these changes in our routines take time to assimilate and process.  The pervasive sense of fear is unnerving wherever we go, so our anxieties are likely a lot higher from that alone.  And then there is this: Video messaging is not easy for everyone.  Many (not all) autistics find Skype and Zoom highly provocative of our natural social anxiety.  Now, instead of only feeling self-conscious, we get to see that awkwardness in real-time.  If we have been told repeatedly that our poker-face puts people off, seeing it is not only awkward, but can feel shameful… even though it ought not to be.  It is ridiculously hard to navigate smalltalk on the grid screen, and even more so when the smalltalk is now centered on the pandemic.  In face to face encounters, autistics often go inwardly on “screensaver” during smalltalk as a way of coping and hanging in until a relevant topic begins, but we have little choice when we are on display.  With video chat now the preferred way of maintaining relationships, school and employment, those who are forging through are doing so at great cost to our energy level.

As far as the challenge of thinking outside the pandemic: It is okay to NOT feel afraid, to NOT enjoy online events, and to hold different and creative ideas for carrying on and engineering what we ordinarily would have done.  This one seems obvious, but it is huge and vitally important to say.  Why?  Because our social environment has become greatly limited to online interactions and brief actual conversations.  The same dynamics that marginalize people in everyday situations are now highly concentrated and nearly unavoidable.  Here’s how:  A pandemic is, by definition, a life-or-death situation.  The majority of any group are the ones who determine the rules for safety and standards of “right” conduct.  When anxiety is high and fear of infection is at play, ordinary allowances for diverse opinions are suspended.  It is how crisis management works.  However, when crisis management takes over the social setting as it has by the need for social distancing, the risk is extremely high for anyone who does not match the standards of the majority to be shunned, both overtly and subtly.  But, what if you honestly feel well prepared, resourceful, and have a good grasp on the expected operating procedures? What if you are not afraid?  That does not mean you are reckless, thoughtless, indifferent or skeptical… but the larger community may portray you that way.  The problem is, those who are not afraid become frightening to people who are already frightened.  One of the common responses to that is accusation and scapegoating.  We have seen enough of these dramatizations on shows like “The Twilight Zone,” when neighbors turn on one another in response to fear and failure to conform.  Autistic or not, there are many who feel confident, prepared and calm… and, therefore, marginalized. It is hard to participate in conversations dominated by fear and rumination when we do not feel that way.  Pockets of friends who are applying themselves to “the cause” turn angry toward the one in the group who feels their energy is better used elsewhere.  Creative ideas challenge the lockdown mentality and become a threat rather than the tremendous help they ought to be.  In short, people are much less likely to “live and let live” when they perceive a crisis at hand, and this is a hugely difficult time for divergent thinker.

Through all of these trials, may we remember that this time will eventually pass.  One way or the other, we and our communities will find ourselves wiser on the other side.  May we continue consecrating our autism, all the ways it shapes our minds and hearts, and trust that these areas of divergence will be gateways for God to form deeper and stronger relationships through our daily doings.

World Autism Day 2020

On this World Autism Awareness Day, we wanted to take a moment to highlight some of the things we have been working on here at Autism Consecrated.

Prayer Cards and Leaflets.  The Prayer for Autism Support and Prayer to Consecrate Autism are now available in print format, able to be requested by individuals and also available in bulk quantities for bookstores, parishes, schools and large gatherings.*

(* We recognize that large gatherings are not feasible for the next several weeks, but when regular establishments begin operating once again, we are ready and available.)

Audio Format for Prayers.  Though still a work in progress, we are actively exploring options for good-quality audio recordings of the autism prayers on our website.

Translation.  We are still looking for volunteers who would be willing to adopt sections of our website content and translate them into languages other than English.  This might be a wonderful way to apply free time during the COVID shutdown!

Support for Autistic Clergy and Religious.  Over the next several weeks, we are looking to introduce a support area for autistic priests, deacons, seminarians and religious brothers and sisters.  We plan to roll out a forum for online gathering and discussion, as well as build an idea bank for approaching and navigating consecrated life on the spectrum.  Our long-term vision is to be a place where autistic clergy and religious can find understanding, support and encouragement in their respective vocations, dioceses and communities.  If this applies to you, and you have any wishes or suggestions for us in these building stages, we invite you to share these with us directly.

Symposia, Webinars and Retreats.  Just before COVID began shutting things down, Autism Consecrated was assembling our inaugural symposium, “Autism Through the Eyes of God,” featuring an array of speakers to discuss the theological implications of autism and inclusion in the Body of Christ.  Though our plans are on hold with everything else, we are still intent on bringing this to fruition, one form or another.  In the interim, we are exploring alternate ideas for presenting our material and using the down time to brainstorm creative ways to spark and conduct these conversations in the absence of the ability to gather.

In sum: Great things are happening.  We are very blessed to be part of it all!  Saint Thorlak, pray for us, as we pause to acknowledge the autistic lives that shape our world!

 

Prayer for Autism Support

Front and back of our Prayer for Autism Support

 

Prayer to Consecrate Autism

Leaflet of the Prayer to Consecrate Autism

A Word from Father Mark Nolette

(Ordinarily, Father Mark Nolette’s posts appear on his blog, The Anchorite.  If you have not yet seen his page or subscribed to his blog, it is well worth checking out.  Since his post today offers very timely support and validation for the autistic community, I am cross-posting here.  – Aimee O’Connell)

I begin with a statistic.  The New York Times reported this morning that the number of confirmed cases of COVID-19 worldwide, as of yesterday, is 160,000.  About half of these are in China.  On the one hand, if we focus on this number only, it seems rather small compared to the total population of the planet, which is estimated at over seven billion people.  This number is, for the moment, far smaller than the number of people who are infected with a typical late winter flu outbreak.  However, that’s not the number that has experts worried.  They believe that the number of cases will explode geometrically, becoming many times that number before the outbreak peaks.

How many times?

There we find a difference of opinion.  Last week, the New York Times reported on four possible scenarios for how many people in this country could be infected with coronavirus, and how many could die.  The estimates of infection range from 15% to 50% of the population.  The number of deaths range from 500k to 2 million.  The experts acknowledge that containment efforts, if applied, could reduce these estimates.  Moreover, because coronavirus is novel, no one knows if some people might have some immunity to it or not.

The fear we are feeling is not so much about the numbers of people who now have it, a number we can safely estimate.  The fear is about the uncertainty of how many people will eventually get it, and how bad it will be.  Moreover, given that a sizable number of people in this country do not trust scientific or medical experts, that compounds the uncertainty.  Moreover, the very existence of this virus among us makes us feel vulnerable.  All the king’s horses and all the king’s men (and all the king’s money) cannot drive it away.  No wall can keep it out.  We Americans are not used to feeling vulnerable.  This only heightens the anxiety.

What do we have, then? A grave level of fear and anxiety.  An overwhelming sense of impending doom. People grasping at any straw, even to the point of stockpiling toilet paper, in order to feel some sense of security or preparedness.  A sense of panic that may be more severe than the virus itself.

Welcome to the world of autistic people.

What I am seeing, as a priest and an autistic person, looks very much like autistic anxiety.  Some of the reactions I see look very much to me like autistic meltdown.  The anxiety I often feel before a weekend liturgy is something like this.  The anxiety I feel when something unexpected, like a funeral, enters my life is something like this.  The anxiety I feel when some future plan is still uncertain is something like this.  As an autistic person, I have needed to grapple with anxieties like these, learn to decipher them, and learn to live with them.  Therefore, I may be able to offer something from my experience as an autistic person that could help many other people during these trying times.

What have I learned that may be of help to others?

1) Things are not as bad as they feel. Yes, I am well aware of the danger of minimizing the risk of coronavirus. However, my sense is that the opposite is the greater danger; that people will panic and make the danger more than it really is.  Then, with panic in control, people do not think well. They may make choices that make the situation worse.  They may look for people to blame.  Sometimes, when I am celebrating Mass, it can feel as though I were the deer and the congregation were all hunters.  Now, there’s a kernel of truth in this. Social exposure of this kind is difficult for me.  However, it’s not quite as bad as it might feel for me at that moment.  In the same way, coronavirus is a real danger, but it’s not quite as bad as our panic might make it out to be.

2) We are not powerless. When anxiety becomes panic, we feel overwhelmed. We feel that we have no control, no options.  We learn to step back when this happens and remind ourselves that this is not true.  As an autistic person, I know that there are ways to manage anxiety.  There are also ways to address the outbreak and reduce the risk.  In managing anxiety, there are techniques like cognitive behavioral therapy, which help us examine our thoughts and see if they correspond to what really is.  Many people find that a few moments with camomile tea helps them soothe their nerves and be recollected.  Then, when anxiety and panic are more manageable, we can look at the actual situation and take appropriate action.  There are ways to significantly reduce our risk of catching or spreading coronavirus.

3) We must never deny or ignore our needs. This COVID-19 outbreak reminds us of our fundamental vulnerability as human beings.  We may find it difficult to acknowledge this vulnerability, to ourselves or to others.  We may feel the overwhelming temptation to camouflage those weak spots at all costs.  As an autistic person, I am well aware of my own vulnerabilities and limitations, especially in social situations.  Nevertheless, I have found that the stronger and more courageous thing to do is to acknowledge those vulnerabilities to myself and to others.  Paradoxically, this unlocks a strength in me and in others that makes all of us stronger.  Acknowledging our legitimate needs, and drawing healthy boundaries, are essential for our health and survival.  This is all the more true in the stressful situation we now find ourselves in.

4) We are not alone. Perhaps the greatest danger when we feel overwhelmed with intense anxieties, panic, or depression is the sense that each one of us is alone in this.  No one else could understand, we tell ourselves.  In this kind of isolation, we feel weaker.  We become easier prey to panic, depression and despair.  As an autistic person, I grew up with a profound sense of being “different” without being able to name that difference.  There were things about me that others could not understand, and there were things about others that I could not understand.  Though there is truth in this, there is also a danger – the danger of feeling ultimately alone in a dangerous world.  When I find others who share some of these attributes with me, I know I am not alone.  It is important for us all to share our anxieties and concerns with others so that we know we are not alone.

5) We are saved by Love.  Everything I have tried to say is summed up here.  It is Love that saves us.  It is Love that empowers us.  It is Love that assures us, above all, that we are not alone.  It is Love that we need more than any other thing.  And this Love is God.  As an autistic child, I felt more withdrawn from other people than I do now.  The first things to reach me were what some call “special interests” – my love for astronomy, dinosaurs, history, and many other things I began to discover.  Caught up in love for these things, I could easily talk your ear off, whereas I’d be silent most of the time otherwise.  Some see these interests as excessive and pathological.  Not necessarily.  They are meant, for the autistic person, to be a training ground for love.  Learning how to love these things helps us begin to love other people and, ultimately, to love God with that same total devotion that flows from the very marrow of our bones and the very cardiac tissue of our hearts.  All of us, faced with the fears caused by this outbreak, can renew our love for our own interests and, especially, for God who is Love.  It is this Love that ultimately frees us from panic and fear.  We need to do what we can to open ourselves as fully as possible to this Love.

This is why I have argued, and continue to argue, that we need the Sacraments and, especially, the Mass and the Eucharist at this time.  Yes, we should follow flu protocols and take all reasonable precautions to safeguard ourselves and our loved ones.  However, we cannot deny or ignore our need for Love.  Our need for Christ.  He has told us that we need to eat His Flesh and drink His Blood so that we might have the fullness of His life in us.  Christians of past centuries believed that this need was so fundamental that it was worth risking their lives for it.  That has not changed.  We need the Lord, and we need to follow His own teaching of how we can best receive His love.  Who could know this better than Him?

I leave you with this in the hope that my insight – that our experience of this outbreak parallels autistic experience – will be helpful, as well as my sharing of what I have learned from this.  It may be that this outbreak is a time when people who may have been shunned as eccentric or lacking in social graces may have something most valuable to offer the world.

May the love of the Lord be with us, now and always!

Another Beginning

By Aimée O’Connell

Most of us associate Ash Wednesday with putting aside, going without, giving away and pruning back those distractions which have accumulated since (at least) the end of last Lent.  It seems an unusual choice for a website launch date, especially when screen use and social media are often among the first things we shave as we seek to get back to essentials.  Yet, here we are, unveiling AUTISM CONSECRATED, squarely on the first of Lent’s two strictest days of fasting and abstinence.  How so?  It is a question worth exploring, since it happens to coincide with other Ash Wednesdays of recent years.

In January of 2017, the need for spiritual support and direction specific to autism was yet unmet on a widespread basis.  I had a growing sense that the life and theology of St. Thorlak could help address this need, if only his story could be better known and understood.  I brought this to prayer by requesting a weekday Mass for this intention at my home parish.  I was offered the morning of March 1, and, in reaching for the right words to summarize my intention, I asked that the Mass be for “the mission of Saint Thorlak.”

Little did I realize that I would soon start building a website using that title, and that its launch date would coincide with the date of my Mass… and, that March 1 was also Ash Wednesday.  I marveled at how apt that St. Thorlak’s online debut coincided with the Church’s call to seek that path which will lead us closer to God.

Autistic theology is still a largely unbroken trail… meaning, it is not readily visible along the landscape, and takes significant determination to navigate.  The Mission of Saint Thorlak website has done a splendid job of commencing the journey and inviting others to travel along with us.  We have only been walking together three years, but we have made a significant start in defining this particular path, which we have come to call the Way of Saint Thorlak, and we have also made great headway in telling his story.  In fact, the opportunity to write (and eventually publish) a full biography of Saint Thorlak came, appropriately enough, on Ash Wednesday, 2018.  Another beginning!

It has become increasingly apparent that our trail is branching.  We are coming upon areas involving the larger community, and it is clear that we as autistics have both our own, distinct path and a common identity with the rest of the sojourners seeking the way to live in God’s love.  In short, we are all members of the Body of Christ.  The question has shifted from asking where we fit to wondering how the rest of the body interprets our being here.  We have the same Mission, with a different focus.

And so it is that we have taken the heart of the Mission of Saint Thorlak and placed it in the center of AUTISM CONSECRATED – our new website, and our new vision: to realize autism’s belonging in the Body of Christ.  Think of this as the same essential Mission from a new vantage point.  Over the next few weeks, we will highlight several of our website’s features, and then prepare to move forward once more on this yet-unbroken trail of autistic theology.

May this Ash Wednesday be, for all of us, another beginning.