Anger? Rage? Anxiety? Fear? Hijack? Meltdown?
NEUROLOGICAL OVERLOAD.
When we reach the state of autistic overload commonly called "meltdown," the simple fact is that our bodies are unable to feel safe. The behavior that results is a natural consequence of the drive for safety. Things like personal space, sensory quieting, autonomy over our environment or respite from too many requirements at once can be all we need to begin recovering our faculties. But be very clear: MELTDOWN IS NOT A CONSCIOUS CHOICE, AND MELTDOWN IS NOT A FAILURE OF COMPOSURE.
It's reality in the world of autism. It's hard to look at, and even harder to cope with when it takes over.
This simple prayer can be said by someone in overload, by someone trying to help, and especially by someone who does not have a current or compassionate understanding of meltdown.
Holy Thorlak,
Cut with the scythe of your workings
The thorns casting shadows
In our unclear minds!
This prayer is equally effective for those in meltdown as it is for those in close proximity (because, many times, people around us have no idea how to respond, and can make things worse when they don't understand). Memorize it... but, better still, visualize it.
That's a pretty big blade.
What is a scythe, exactly? It's no pair of scissors. It's the big hook carried by the Grim Reaper.
We're not asking St. Thorlak to come and trim the tops of our hedges... we're calling on him to bring some swift, decisive action.
And if we're calling on him to bring the scythe, these must be some serious thorns.
We wouldn't need a scythe unless these thorns are big, and tangled,
and have us trapped so badly that we see no way to escape without someone getting hurt.
That sounds a lot like what non-autistic people think autism overload is, and it also describes how autistic people feel when those around us react, judge and assume without simply showing the compassion we need to help us feel safe.
However we we wandered into the grip of this thicket... we're in great pain. Every twitch, every attempt to free ourselves, every blink of our eye is another sharp cut. And the more we fight to escape, the deeper these thorns dig into our rapidly dwindling resources.
We need compassion, understanding and help!
Yes. We need a swift and loving hand of someone with a rational mind, someone who can clear a path for us and reassure us that, as unsafe as we feel, as tight a grip as this moment has on us... it is temporary.
There is an exit. Calm can follow.
We are valued. We are loved. We are no less for our vulnerability.
Holy Thorlak, Cut with the scythe of your workings the thorns casting shadows over our autistic needs, over the minds of the unaware, over the hearts of those in our community...
Holy Thorlak, Cut with the scythe of your workings the thorns casting shadows in our unclear minds!
Please contact us if you would like to request one or more business-card sized Scythe of Saint Thorlak prayer cards.
