We adore you, O Christ, and we praise you.
Because by your holy cross, you have redeemed the world.
Reading
Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, "Sit here while I go over there and pray."
He took along Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to feel sorrow and distress. Then he said to them, "My soul is sorrowful even to death. Remain here and keep watch with me." He advanced a little and fell prostrate in prayer, saying, "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet, not as I will, but as you will." When he returned to his disciples he found them asleep. He said to Peter, "So you could not keep watch with me for one hour? Watch and pray that you may not undergo the test. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." (Matthew 26:36-41)
Reflection
Anxiety.
In poll after poll, autistic people name anxiety as our greatest challenge. Changes in our daily routines, or an upcoming social event, can trigger anxieties that make us feel as though our very lives are in danger. In our logical minds, we know well that our reactions are way out of proportion to the things that trigger them. Still, the anxieties overwhelm us anyway. We shut down. We resist. We want to run away. We may even have a meltdown, and feel totally out of control, totally vulnerable, and totally humiliated. Others react to our meltdowns in a hostile or demeaning way. Who can understand this? Who can see us in the midst of the anxieties and stand with us?
Jesus leads his disciples to the garden of Gethsemane. He knows well what will soon happen to Him. His humanity is already repulsed by this. He feels anxiety and struggle, even as He is resolved to follow through with offering His life out of love for us.
He could have faced the struggle alone. Yet, he chooses three disciples: Peter, James and John, the ones who were with Him at His Transfiguration, and takes them with Him. Jesus is willing to let them see Him in his vulnerability and anxiety, as He deals with His fears and resolves to do His Father’s will. But his three friends could not stay awake and accompany Him then, when He most needed them!
Jesus knows what it is to face a deep and overpowering anxiety. He knows what it is to reach out for friends, and to have friends "fall asleep" by not seeing the need or failing to be fully present in love and support. Jesus knows what it is to feel alone in His agony. He resolved to keep going, out of love for us.
When great anxieties beset you, turn to Jesus. He has been there. He will walk with you in love and compassion, no matter how frightening your inner storms may feel. He will not abandon you in your fears but will give you the courage to face them so that you can be faithful to what you need to do. Moreover, your great anxieties will help you understand the weaknesses of others, and to reach out to them with your love and hard-earned wisdom.
Prayer
Father of mercy,
grant us Your strength and wisdom,
that we may follow you in all things.
When anxieties seem to overwhelm us,
remind us of Gethsemane,
and how You stand with the broken and hurting
wherever they may be.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.